Our Guest Host this evening is Hugh Jackman for some reason. Let’s go NoC Fallout!
And we start with the Cult Of Personality! Punk looks a big banged up, but he’s dressed to compete. Punk’s handed a pipe bomb. He mentions his history in this building (Forfeiting the World Championship, Bob Holly punching him so hard he has a dead spot in his eye), and he mentions that AwesomeTruth might be right. There might be a Conspiracy…and is interrupted by Motorhead before he can elaborate. Yep, it’s all about the game again as he walks to the ring in his ill-fitting suit.
Haitch says he gives Punk credit, because he can barely walk, but he’s still COO. He mentions Hell in a Cell in two weeks, Cena winning the belt for the 10th time, and Alberto deserves a rematch…and Punk deserves a rematch, too. He announces a Triple Threat Hell In A Cell match for the WWE Championship. Haitch says if Punk doesn’t believe he’s not involved in the conspiracy (and takes his jacket and tie off), he doesn’t have a problem going to war again. Punk said that someone is using their hatred against each other to their advantage, and Johnny Ace interrupts. Johnny agrees there IS a conspiracy but it’s all on Punk. Punk says he’s upset because he’s figured out the conspiracy. He accuses Johnny Ace is responsible for sending Miz and Truth last night, sending Nash at Summerslam, and cutting his mic off last week. Haitch has heard enough and reminds Johnny Ace that he works for HHH. Johnny Ace tries to fire Punk, but HHH overrules it. But he promises that by the end of the night, SOMEBODY is going to get fired.
Jim Ross announces he’s interviewing Mark Henry (THAT’LL end well) and an 8-Man tag featuring Sheamus/Air Boom and Justin Gabriel vs. Christian, Wade Barrett and the McGillibuddies is NEXT. Nice counter from a headscissors attempt into a sidewalk slam from McGillicutty. I like the team they picked with 3/4ths Nexus for Christian’s team. I miss that group. Otunga prevents Evan from tagging anyone in, except when he makes a huge mistake and lets Sheamus in. SLOBBERKNOCKER. And an interruption by Barrett and McGillicutty makes me miss the Nexus even more, but an INCREDIBLE splash by Kofi takes Barrett out. This breaks down and Sheamus Brogue Kicks Otunga’s head off and finishes him off with the Celtic Cross.
Backstage in Haitch's office, Chad Patton and the other refs are concerned, but Alberto interrupts. He’s is angry about his HiaC Match, but Haitch says if he’d rather have his rematch tonight, it can be done. Alberto backs off, but wishes Vince would come back and run the company properly.
Ricardo’s in the ring to introduce YOUR MEXICAN ARISTOCRAT. Oh boy, ADR looks angry. Ricardo looks angrier, too. He’s up against John Morrison this week. I can sense some jobbery to ADR tonight. Yep, Alberto’s just taking out his anger on JoMo, and he’s focusing on the arm. A quick Cross Arm Breaker and JoMo’s DONE. Told you.
HERE COMES HUGH JACKMAN. He seems excited and actually runs the ropes. He says he’s excited, and that the Oscars were nothing compared to 15,000 fans. He shills his new movie Real Steel, but HERE COMES VICKIE GUERRERO, who introduces herself as Hugh’s biggest fan. Dolph’s jealous. Jackman actually introduces himself to Dolph. I don’t know if that was intentional. Dolph rants at Jackman for taking his celebration time. Dolph’s threatening Jackman and calls him and Cleveland losers. Jackman’s gonna go to the locker room, get the biggest underdog, and help him humiliate Dolph. HUGE WE WANT RYDER chants. Hugh grabs a Ryder > Wolverine sign from the crowd, rubs it in Ziggler’s face, and goes to the back.
Backstage, AwesomeTruth apologize to Johnny Ace, and go to Haitch’s office.
Back in the ring, the Original Sin Cara (the announcers think) goes up against Cody Rhodes w/ Bag Boys…But here’s ANOTHER Cara. This one’s got a darker skin tone, so I believe this is the real one. Yep, looking at them now, Hunicara is bigger. Hunicara attacks Misticara and FLIPS EVERYWHERE. Hunicara botches a headscissors. Misticara manages to throw Hunicara out the ring and, yes, Cody came out for nothing.
AwesomeTruth apologize to Haitch for interfering in his match. Truth also apologizes to the Little Jimmies, Both of them love their jobs and begs Haitch not to fire them. Haitch fines them $250,000 each and puts them in a tag match against Punk and Cena. Who is he, Teddy Long?
JR is in the ring and…Teddy Long’s walking away? Orton invokes his rematch clause. AT HELL IN A CELL. Oh god, poor JR. Mark Henry comes out and my god, I’m happy for the guy. JR congratulates him for proving his naysayers wrong. Mark accuses JR of being a naysayer. Mark says he hasn’t been in a HiaC match, but last night he gave Orton hell. The belt says “World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry” on it. He will never forgive the naysayers, because they never believed in him. He tells JR to apologize for the crowd, and apologize personally. He mentions that JR wasn’t all that high on Mark, saying he’s injury prone. But he holds the title high as validation. He tells JR to take this opportunity to apologize, and JR does. He says he hates ass-kissers and grabs JR by the neck. Lawler runs in and tries stopping Mark by saying he’s spent 15 years trying to win the title and tells him not to tarnish it by hurting JR. So Lawler takes JR’s place and eats a World’s Strongest Slam. Mark kicks Lawler out of the ring and tosses him over the announce table. Mark hits the World’s Strongest Slam on Lawler through the table and walks away with his championship belt. Tremendous segment.
Josh Mathews takes over JR and Lawler. Ugh, here comes goddamn Kelly Kelly and Eve, out for a tag match against the Divas of Destruction. Nice, Beth and Nattie are wearing matching spike shoulderpads. Kelly gets the upper hand as Beth makes some mistakes until a big boot to Eve. Natalya tags in and the DoD hit a double clothesline for a 2 count. Eve fights out of the corner and rolls up Nattie for…the three?! Jesus Christ, what is with this booking?
Backstage, Jackman finds Zack Ryder and, yep, the crowd loves it. Dolph comes out with Ziggler, and Ryder gets a brofist with Jackman, who is wearing a Broski headband. BROMENDOUS. Ryder goes for a quick rollup for a two and a HUGE LET’S GO RYDER chant breaks out. Broski Boot for a quick two earns an ARE YOU SERIOUS BRO but Dolph takes advantage. Ryder goes for ANOTHER school boy for a quick two but a lightning fast dropkick by Dolph takes down YOUR INTERNET CHAMPION for two. Dolph slaps Zack right in the spiky hair and eats boots to the face. DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE and both of them are down. Vickie slaps Zack in front of the ref and she gets thrown out! Jackman hits a right hook on Ziggler behind the Ref’s back and ROUGH RYDER and he gets the three! Hugh and Ryder celebrate in the ring. Oh my God, are they actually recognizing Zack? Jackman fist pumps right into the commercial break. Nice.
Video package on Swagger, highlighting his accomplishments. Backstage, Vickie and Swagger are watching said video. Jack says he can grant her an audience with Hugh Jackman, if she signs him on to her stable. Vickie agrees and Swagger swags along right in front of Dolph.
Punk and Cena backstage, talk about mutual respect, and selling the HiaC match. Both of them say each might be fired before the end of the night. Video package on the Hell in a Cell, pushing the brutality that has happened in the cell. Great highlights of all the Cell matches so far. Gotta love WWE’s editing team.
In the ring, AwesomeTruth come out to their TREMENDOUS theme song. Well, Truth’s theme song, at least. But come on, it’s Miz’s home town. They still love him. Punk comes out and declares that is indeed clobbering time, but still walks gingerly. Fruity Pebbles comes out and the kids go wild and the smarks go why. Miz starts out against Cena, but Miz apologizes to Charles Robinson first. Aww. Miz tries to ambush Cena, hits a bulldog and tags in Punk. They hit a double hiptoss on Miz. Miz knees Punk in the stomach and tags in Truth. Truth takes advantage for a bit, Punk tags Cena in and wishbone on Truth. Truth tags Miz back in and oh, flashbacks of Cena and Miz’s great match at WM. Miz in control of Cena so far, but of course, SUPERCENA but Miz hits his Back/Neckbreaker combo for two. Truth tags in and grounds Cena. Miz tags in and Punk yells at Cena to fight back. Some kind of throw on Miz puts him down, but Truth gets tagged in before Cena can tag Punk in. AwesomeTruth are doing a great job isolating Cena. Miz back in and beats Cena in their corner. Miz turns his back on Cena to taunt Punk and Cena hits an inverted atomic drop, punches Truth but eats a clothesline from Miz. Miz misses his corner kick and Cena finally HOT TAGS Punk in and beats the shit out of AwesomeTruth. Springboard clothesline and Punk calls for the GTS. Miz counters, almost hits Truth on the ropes, but Punk pushes Miz into Truth, Miz eats a GTS and that’s all she wrote.
Cena and Punk celebrate in the ring for a little bit until Haitch comes out! He tells Punk “Good Match” and FIRES AwesomeTruth as Michael Cole freaks out on commentary! Oh, but they’re pretty angry and they’re going backstage after Haitch. The locker room watches as Scott Stanford tries interviewing Haitch before AwesomeTruth attack him fronm behind. The locker room breaks it up and throws AwesomeTruth out of the building. Triple H is MAD as he walks away, presumably to his office as the show ends.
Final Thoughts: Interesting show-ending angle. Gotta wonder how Haitch came to the conclusion that AwesomeTruth would be fired. Then again, he was going to explain it to Stanford before AwesomeTruth ran him over.
Yep, it’s gotta be Johnny Ace pulling the strings. Sad that Del Rio seems to have become an afterthought, but at least he had a great squash on JoMo.
Hugh Jackman looked genuinely happy to be in the ring, not just to shill his movie, and it gave Zack Ryder a nice rub AND a win against the US Champion.
All in all, a much better show than last night’s PPV, with added INTRIGUE at the end.
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